5 books I read when I was a little kid and I am still ashamed of them to this day:
1.priestess of Avalon: this book was dirty, insane, and stupid. It had lies, thieves, backstabbing, drama, sex,and awful secrets. It was about this chick who wanted to be picked to be a high priestess so she could marry this prince guy who was supposedly perfect for her. So she sabotaged the real high priestess so she could take her place. Librarians! You are not doing your job right in the juvenile fiction section! No! What are you doing to the children??
2. All of the goosebumps books: the ones that weren’t scary enough to freak you out, were stupid enough to make you regret wasting your time by reading them. And I’m still freaked by a couple of them to this day-12 years later.. No…parents-please don’t let your kids read this crap.
3.beowulf: now I appreciate Beowulf. I really like the old Scandinavian folk tales–but let’s just think about this stuff for a minute. This awful man-Grendel -is black and dirty and covered with dried blood and rotting flesh. He’s supposedly really big and brutish. That’s your warning right there that this guy might not be mentally stable. He lives with his mom in an underwater cave surrounded by sea serpents. Did you hear that-an underwater cave? Surrounded by sea serpents which lets face it are basically dragons that live underwater. He’s got flipping dinosaurs gaurding his front door. So Grendel lives near this village that has a king and an army and this great big dining hall where king wrothgar holds all his feasts and dinners and parties and whatnot. And Grendel just goes to this village every once in a while and just slaughters everyone. It talks about him tearing limbs off of great men and drinking the blood and eating these people. But the king doesn’t get eaten because he’s protected-because he’s a king and Odin is protecting all the kings. I’m not gonna continue with this story because…this sounds like a nightmare.
4. Star Wars novels: I should have just watched the movies and been done with it. I wasted too much time reading John Jackson miller. Don’t do it.
5. All Nicolas sparks books: why do the good people always die after they fall in love with someone? Sounds like you had some bad experiences, Nicolas,

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